In December, 2015, I had a Bone Scan, CT Scan, PET Scan and also a biopsy on my left iliac crest bone.
I went to the doctors by myself the results were found in my
Extensive lytic lesions throughout the thoracic and lumbar spine.The largest include T10, T12, L2, L3, L5, S1. There are extensive mostly lytic lesions throughout the left hemipelvis, some of which is visualized on the x-rays, and a few smaller ones in the right hemipelvis; bilateral sacrum. Many of the lytic lesions do not show activity on the bone scan. No adenopathy. In the pelvis, there are asymmetrically enlarged, mildly enhancing tubular structures possibly neural involvement including posterior to the left psoas muscle especially image 51 sequence 5, possible sciatic nerve and its branches, but unchanged from 2010.
There was no cancer found in my organs (so far!).
The biopsy results were Her 2 positive and estrogen positive, my numbers were very similar to my biopsy results in 2010! Welcome to Stage IV cancer.
I left the Doctors office sat in my car. Time stood still, heard no sounds and stared out the window seeing nothing and feeling nothing. I didn’t even realize that I was crying until my tears made my mascara run and my eyes burned.
Halfway home I thought of crashing in a tree (kidding). Halfway home I think I had a panic attack an overwhelming fear came over me. My car drove me to my daughter-in-law (Morgan), she and the kids were my comfort during chemo land and I needed that now. I was quite the sight, and tried my best to hide my tears from my grandkids. I babbled to Morgan, the kids made me smile, got my hugs took a deep breath and headed home.
It’s hard to tell loved ones your fate. Hardest was telling my parents who have already lost two children. Tougher was my husband Michael who I was only married to for 1 & ½ years. We are still newlyweds! Dam I finally found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with hoping for another 30 years!
It sucked to tell my kids, BAD. Down the list you go, relatives, friends, Co-workers, etc…etc….
I laid in bed that night fully awake (I have many sleepless nights) I prayed to God to give me strength for this journey.
Whatever happens I know that
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Next an appointment with my oncologist, what will be the plan to help keep me alive?